Are you being replaced by your partner's sexual toy? ANSWER: NO!

Sex can be an incredibly vulnerable act, so it is not surprising that people may feel self-conscious about their performance. Some individuals manifest this self-consciousness as vibrator envy: the concern that their partner enjoys their toys more than they do. 

However, that statement is not only untrue, but also illogical.

People cannot be replaced by sex toys.  

The term "oral sex simulator" is used to describe certain types of sex toys that emulate oral sensations in some way, such as licking or suction. Nevertheless, air pulsation toys, sex toys with tongues, and so-called blowjob machines cannot fully duplicate oral sex. A sex act shared between humans is far too complex to be replicated by a robot. However, more importantly, a sex act shared between humans carries a level of enthusiasm, perception, and emotion that cannot be replicated by a machine. 

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Sex toys are tools, they are designed to make sex more enjoyable. 

Intimacy can be shared through the use of sex toys. 

In order for sex toys to function, a human must be present. A hammer does not hit a nail on its own, and a dildo does not screw on its own. Tools enact our will. (Even self-thrusting dildos and hands-free fucking machines require someone to line them up and press buttons.) It is no different for a partner to reach down and hold a bullet vibe against his or her clit during sex – except that the sensation is different. 

 

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Any time I encounter someone who is put off by a partner using sex toys, I ask them: have you ever used a toy on your partner? What is the difference between inserting your fingers into them and inserting a dildo into them? Additionally, your fingers are also tools, although they can become cramped or tired over time. There is no better dildo, just a different one. There may be a vibration, or it may reach deeper. However, it is not capable of doing so on its own. If a dildo makes you feel left out, why not try acting as the person whose will it is enacting?

There is no such thing as a "better" sex toy than you.  

Some people enjoy bragging about their "sex skills." Some men whine when a woman brings a vibrator over. Some men say “I can’t compete with that thing!” and are told not to use it. To women, It had never occurs to them to compare a man to a machine. Additionally, sex (and your partner's pleasure) is not a competition. 

In any case, what does it mean to be good at sex in any case? It is far too common for people to believe that being good at sex means being extremely skilled. However, skills are not universally applicable. In spite of the fact that you may consider yourself an expert at giving blowjobs, what happens when you hook up with someone who enjoys techniques you have not tried or doesn't enjoy blowjobs at all? 

It is important to note that being "good at sex" does not mean mastering specific sex acts. In other words, it means being able to communicate effectively and adaptable. You should be ready and willing to learn what someone else enjoys if you hook up with them. Rather than having good sex, some men are more concerned with "being good at sex.". 

 

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There are some people who require sex toys.  

The reasons for wanting and needing a sexual toy are numerous. Perhaps they enjoy penetrating their partner, but due to their anatomy or disability, they are unable to do so on their own. Perhaps their bodies are very sensitive to sensation, and they can only orgasm from rumbly vibrations. As a parent, they may prioritize speed because they have limited time, energy, and privacy. Perhaps their senses are dulled due to disability or medication, and only powerful stimulation can break through. It may be that they enjoy having long nails, but their partner enjoys prostate stimulation, so prostate plugs allow them to enjoy both.

It is true that you may be able to sleep on the ground rather than on a bed. However, it is not possible to punch a nail into a piece of wood. Some tasks require the use of tools - and that is fine. Having such a wide variety of sex toys available is a wonderful thing for your partner if he or she needs one. 

The sensations provided by sex toys are unique. 

People cannot imitate sex toys - and sex toys cannot imitate people. A toy produces a variety of sensations that are unique to it, such as vibrations, perfectly rhythmic stroking, powerful suction, etc. Is it true that those sensations are inherently superior to what can be accomplished with your own two hands? There is no doubt about it. It would be a shame, however, to dismiss a sexual sensation for the simple reason that it was purchased from a store. 


Sex is an adventure that never ends. There is no obligation for you to explore every possible path. In addition, I highly recommend that you occasionally venture into the unknown-but-interesting, whether it is to try out a new sex actor or to pick up a new gadget. Even better, you can do it together with your partner(s) - you might be surprised by what they choose!

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